We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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