Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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