wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
