one two three fourrrrnication!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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