no, he came in my armpit
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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