You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
