i just google imaged poop.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
