I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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