this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
