honey bunches of taint.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
