Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
