lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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