So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
