SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
