WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
