WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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