I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
