Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I supernannyed him into submission
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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