btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
