So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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