yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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