I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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