Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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