She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
BRING THE BAGELS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
