this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
