Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
