I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The air was thick with penises
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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