You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize