gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
