Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Less talking, more tequila
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
