the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
