eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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