just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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