Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
