for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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