i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize