You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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