I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize