What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
