Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
