Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
