I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
