So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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