What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
