Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
