hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
