Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize