thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
