Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
