Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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