At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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