Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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