I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
