I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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