Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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