everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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