please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
