Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My hand turned me down
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize