Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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