Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
