I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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