ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
