I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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