everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
