Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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