Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
