she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
