it hurts more in the daytime
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
