Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
