Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
