My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
